I did my profile assignment on Shirley Jiang, and after a long editing process, I finally got it done! I had two Zoom meetings with Liisa May that really helped me fix my writing.
When I first wrote my profile on Shirley, it was very over the word count and had a lot of my own opinion in it. The first editor I worked with, Bill Bleyer, helped me cut parts of the profile to meet the word requirement. He pointed out that I needed to focus more on Shirley and let her voice and story shine without so much of my own commentary. Which, I totally understand. But I also wanted to refrain from the profile being bland or robotic. That balance was something I kept thinking about throughout the editing process.
One big discussion we had was about the lead of my story. I originally wrote: “At first glance, Shirley Jiang gives off quiet overachiever — reserved, calm, definitely smart.” Bill corrected it because he didn’t think the word “gives” worked in that sentence. Liisa agreed. But I explained that the usage of “gives” is actually grammatically correct in modern vernacular. It’s a form of informal, Gen Z-adjacent expression that’s become super common in pop culture commentary and conversational writing. People say things like, “it gives main character.”
I wanted the tone to feel like me, especially since I’m writing for other teens who talk like me. I explained to both Bill and Liisa that my writing style brings a more relatable and youthful voice, and I wanted that to be reflected in how I opened the piece. They ended up giving me the benefit of the doubt. But Liisa also made a good point that not everyone will understand that kind of phrasing, and if the goal is to write clearly for all audiences, I have to keep that in mind. So I ended up revising the lead a bit to compromise, while still keeping the tone I wanted.
Overall, the editing process definitely challenged me. There were moments where I felt like I was losing my voice in all the edits, but in the end, I think I found a middle ground between keeping it professional and still sounding like me. I appreciated both editors’ feedback, even when we didn’t totally agree at first, because it helped me think more critically about my choices as a writer.